Hearing this message has been a reoccurring theme for me, for years – getting in your own way. There’s so much in the business coaching space about finding and removing your limiting beliefs, and about preventing self-sabotage. It is tiring, if you feel like you’ve been trying to remove these blocks but results have been minor.
More recently, I have read two books that look a lot at the science of the brain. These have provided me with extra reliable scientific background for changing the brain and the body. These books are The Source by Dr Tara Swart, and Becoming Supernatural by Dr Joe Dispenza. And I have also done some deeper work around fears, rather than just limiting beliefs.
Self-sabotage is any action that gets in the way of achieving your goals. There are a million ways we self-sabotage, but some of the most common are procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, stress eating, and interpersonal conflict. Actions like these are especially insidious because they’re relatively small—it’s just one argument, one trip to the fridge, one beer—and in the moment, they may even seem helpful. But like a river eroding away rocks, over time, self-sabotage creates a Grand Canyon of self-defeat from which it’s hard to climb out.
Whether you refer to it as self-defeating behaviour or getting in your own way, self-sabotage can interfere with the best-laid plans and goals. Why do we do it?
According to Psychology Today, there are six main reasons:
- low self-worth
- perceived fraudulence
For me, I have recently realised that underneath any of the above reasons for me, is fear. Fear of success, fear of failure, and a deep fear that I don’t believe I’m worthy of achieving my potential. So why try, just to be disappointed?
They say once you are self-aware, that’s half the battle. So now the hard work starts on calling out that fear each time I recognise self-sabotaging behaviour.